Total Drama Insanity
by UglyTurnip
Summary: More chapters coming August 2014. When Chris accidentally sends 14 COD Zombies characters to Camp Wawanakwa, he uses them to create a new season. The prize? Freedom. Who will take it? And who will be sent to the Dimension of Losers?


**This was an idea for a new series. The actually fanfic will begin in August, but I did write the first chapter as a preview. It doesn't break site rule, because it IS actual story content. This took three days of determination to make. I hope you enjoy!**

**Also, this is the first time someone did a TD/COD crossover? I'm surprised.**

**Yes, I did include Austin Woodard, but he'll be more of a gag character. He definitely won't win.**

Total Drama Insanity

Episode 1: Savages and Stuhlingers

Chris McClean quietly sat on the docks of Camp Wawanakwa, sketchpad in hand. It was quiet, too quiet. Season Five had ended not too long ago, and now he was back at the drawing board. Normally, thinking of an idea for a new season would not have been hard for the host, but ratings had significantly dropped, and the network producers had given him one last chance for a comeback. Season 6 had barely managed to get the green light, and if he didn't find a way to make this season both creative AND exciting, he'd be out of a job by the end.

One thing that was immediately noticeable was that the audience seemed to be tired of both the older cast and the newer cast. This was a problem, as Chris had thought that these were the best drama machines he had ever received auditions from. Nevertheless, he would send out an audition notice in a few days. All he could do was hope that the audition tapes he received would contain at least 20 of the best auditions he had ever seen.

Chris heard the sound of one of the cabins open, and out came Chef Hatchet, holding a can of mosquito spray in his left hand. He made his way over to Chris and sat down next to him.

"Have you come up with anything to save the show?" The chef asked, nervous himself.

Chris just sighed. "I have a few unique challenge ideas, but the real problem will be finding contestants that will appease the viewers."

"We only have a few days before auditions need to be sent out. Where will it be this time?"

Chris shrugged. "Where else but Wawanakwa?" He was making a good point; most places had refused to accept Chris's offer in the past, and Wawanakwa Island was the one place in his name. He looked up from his notepad and noticed it was almost dusk. "I think I'll take a walk in the forest, maybe it will clear my head."

Chef just stared at the evening coastline. "If you think it will help." He stood. "I'm going to think up of new ways to cook food badly."

Chris's lips twisted into a slight grin. "Nothing like bad food to make a good challenge." He also stood and stretched. "Well, I'll be back before it gets too dark."

"Be careful in the forest, last thing we need is a new host."

Chris chuckled as he walked away. "I 'll be fine."

Ten minutes into the walk, Chris had not been able to come up with even the slightest hint of a good idea for another challenge. It was true that he DID have a few good ones already, but not enough to even cover until the merge, much less the entire season. After having five seasons-worth of challenges, there wasn't much that he could come up with. If only-

Chris was cut off from his thoughts when he directly bumped into something. . . Metallic. He frowned. Could it be that this was a relic from an old challenge that was never removed. It certainly did not naturally belong in a forest. He brought out his phone and activated the flashlight feature. Upon getting a better look at it, his jaw dropped.

It was a structure that had never been used before, he knew that much. It was free of any signs of use or abandonment, like it had just been set up hours ago. It was roundish, with an opening on the inside. Sitting on the inside was a simple remote that only had two buttons: one red, one green.

Chris picked it up and eyed it with suspicion. Stepping out of the structure, he rubbed his chin while debating inwardly if he should press a button.

"Do I, or don't I?" He continued to frown. "Of course I do!" He flashed his trademark smile as he pressed down on the green button.

Nothing appeared to happen.

"Aw, I was hoping for something cool."

* * *

Billy, Sal, Weasel, and Finn were fighting Brutus and his horde on the bridge. Things were getting very uncomfortable for the mobsters. They all were low on ammo, Finn had lost his perks, and Weasel had already been badly injured by the beast of a zombie.

Realizing that staying on the bridge would be a dire mistake, Sal ordered to run to the electric chairs. Reluctantly, the other three had followed. The four of them each sat in one of the electric chairs. Maybe they would finally die, and this would all be one big dream.

That was all they thought as they were jolted with electricity.

* * *

Misty, Marlton, Russman, and Samuel Stuhlinger continued to fight in the underground western town, but the zombies were only getting stronger, and there was nowhere to go.

Marlton had set down a time bomb for emergency purposes. Stuhlinger was downed, and fired his Remington New Model Army at the approaching horde, with little result.

Russman was standing on the stairs, firing an FSIRT that was still doing some damage. As the clip emptied, Russman had turned to run, but a single zombie was waiting right behind him. The remaining zombies came and surrounded him, causing the old man to fall down.

Misty and Marlton continued shooting, but things were not really working out for them. It wouldn't be long before they suffered the same fate. Marlton drew the detonator for his time bomb and mashed the button, as it was all they could do.

* * *

Two men conflicted in a small town, each trying to survive longer than the other. One of them was a CIA Agent, the other a CDC Agent. Neither side had backed down, and they bothe were doing really well.

They both went to pack a punch at the same time, arguing which was to go first. It was all too late by the time they realized that they were standing in the lava. A painful burning death overtook both of them.

* * *

Four men in astronaut suits stood next to a machine similar to the one Chris had discovered. They were on Area 51, loading up on Juggernog. The tallest one, Nikolai, also carried the machine itself.

"It will be better if we keep it on the moon, no?" He had defended before anyone even questioned.

The zombies they were fighting grew closer, and the four backed onto the machine, which was a teleporter, before it was too late. The teleporter soon sent them off.

Only this time, it wasn't to the moon.

* * *

Chris started walking back to one of the cabins. This walk had done little to help his plans. He sighed, perhaps it was fated that this was the last season of Total Drama. As much as he didn't want his hosting gig to end, it was going to. He better enjoy his final season.

Once he was out of the clearing, he saw that there were people on the docks.

"Oh look," Chris frowned. "The interns must have arrived. I should probably go out and greet them."

He approached the people, who were all shouting at each other, with his usual grin. It was plastered on this time, as he was still upset that Total Drama could end.

"QUIET!" He shouted with a surprising ferocity. Everyone actually silenced themselves, partially because Chef Hatchet had appeared next to Chris. "I know you are all excited to work for this season of Total Drama. Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa! Now, I know it's late and all, but before you are shown your quarters, I-" Chris stopped talking once he noticed how odd the new interns looked. They were not the interns he had hired.

"Wait, you're not my interns. Who are you people?"

"Who are you?" One retorted. He had a Russian accent, and sounded drunk.

"I'm Chris McClean, host of Total Drama," Chris continued to frown.

"Oh, I'm Nikolai. Where the hell am I?"

"Weren't you sent here?" Chris was confused.

"No, we just all. . . Appeared here. Is this place safe from zombies?"

Chris smiled and rolled his eyes, before laughing. "Oh man, this is a great prank that the producers are pulling," he cleared his throat. "But seriously, I don't have time for this. I have to think up of some good ideas for the show. So, run along."

They all looked confused themselves. "What show?" One wearing a white button-up with a loosened tie questioned.

"Total Drama, don't play dumb," Chris was getting annoyed. "Can you just go now?"

"But, we're stuck. We are not from here."

Chris noticed that they WERE serious. His eyes widened. "What time did you 14 get here?"

The guy in the white button-up looked at his watch. "About 10 minutes ago."

Chris visibly gasped. That was when he had pressed the button. Maybe these were just the contestants he needed.

"I say this is all just one big conspiracy!" One shouted.

"NEIN! YOU ARE CRAZY!" An older man wearing an astronaut suit shouted before cackling madly himself.

They all began to shout over each other, Chris blew a whistle, getting their attention again.

"Thank you. . . New contestants!" He shouted.

"New contestants? Like hell I will. I didn't sign up for this!" One in a white blood-splattered T-shirt growled.

Chris simply drew his remote and pressed the red button. All 14 contestants disappeared in a flash. He smiled as he pressed the green button, and they reappeared.

"You were saying?"

The guy from before just spat. "Fine, tough guy! I'll play your stupid game!"

"Excellent! Filming begins tomorrow. You guys can sleep on the dock tonight," he eyed the machine the Russian carried. "Oh, that gives me an idea. . . Chef, help me carry this."

* * *

Chris cleared his throat as the camera began to roll. "Thank you for tuning in to yet another Total Drama! I'm you handsome host, Chris McClean! This season, we're going back to the classics, camping!" The camera zoomed out to reveal the old cabins, still as crappy as ever.

"This season, we have 14 unwilling contestants competing for the prize of their freedom, like always. They'll spend these next six weeks in bug-infested cabins, doing extreme challenges, all in the name of becoming a millionaire!" He chuckled. "This will great. They're already here, and we'll meet them in a second, but first. . ."

_Confessional: Chris_

_Remember our old friend, the outhouse confessional? He's back to record the campers' most deep and juicy secrets!"_

_End confessional._

"This season's cast is much more different than usual, no teens. We got a cast of all-male-"

He heard the only female contestant clear her throat.

"I mean, almost all-male adults. And boy, are these guys nutty. You're in for a treat! Without further ado, let's meet them for the first time!" Chris walked up to the first contestant, who was Russman. He smiled at the camera and winked, seeming quite confident in himself.

"My name's Russman, and Russman's here to make it rain!" He continued to flash a confident smile at the camera. It was quite creepy.

"OK, let's hope your actions speak as loud as your words, Russman," Chris grinned.

"You can bet your life on it, Craig!"

"It's Chris."

"Oh, sorry, I have Alzheimer's," he chuckled.

Chris did not respond as he moved on to the next contestant, Albert Arlington. He was much less energetic and just have a greasy smile.

"They call me Albert."

"And Weasel," Billy's offscreen voice was heard. Albert rolled his eyes.

"I don't like your smile," Chris squinted suspiciously, then checked his back pocket to make sure his wallet hadn't been stolen. "Well, let's move on."

Chris walked up to the next contestant, Sal Deluca. The man was obviously thinking about something.

"Hello! Want to introduce yourself?" Chris laughed as the man jumped out if his thoughts.

"Sal Deluca," was all he said, and he went back to thinking

_Confessional: Sal_

_"I'm a thinkin' man, and that's how I'm gonna play to win! These other losers don't stand a chance."_

_End confessional._

The fourth contestant was the CDC Agent, Austin Woodard. He still appeared to be confused. He nodded his head. "My name's Austin Woodard, and I have no idea why I'm here."

Chris just chuckled and walked to the next contestant, who was Billy Handsome. The man sneered at Chris. "Just call me Billy," he growled. Chris frowned at his hostility.

"You might want to try being nicer."

"What?" He looked like he was about to punch Chris in the face.

Chris realized that the next contestant was. . . Izzy? What was she doing here?

"You're not supposed to be in this season," Chris informed her with a confused glance.

"Um, the guy in the suit kinda bailed last night. She just kinda showed up," Albert explained. He was talking about the CIA Agent.

Chris just shrugged. "Fine, she can replace the guy that left."

Izzy laughed.

_Confessional: Izzy_

_"Explosivo will be the cause of a booming season!" She then chuckled mischievously._

_End confessional._

Chris was now at the seventh contestant, Takeo Masaki.

"My name is Takeo, and participating is an honor!" He bowed. Chris reached out to shake a hand. Takeo was reluctant at first, but he accepted it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Takeo. I have a feeling you will go very far."

"Thank you, sir."

Chris then stopped and pointed to the right side of the dock. "You first seven go over there. The rest of you stay where you are." Austin raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"Yeah, I don't like this team at all. Can I change?"

Chris sighed. "Fine, but one time, and since you asked first, I'll give it to you. No one else switch teams."

Once they were gone, Chris met with the eighth contestant, Marlton.

"The probability of me winning the contest, given my current competition, is 97.26 percent," he noticed Chris. "Oh, right, my name is Marlton. With my intellect, my victory is assured!" He beamed.

Chris continued to smile. "We'll see. Now, go over to your right and join the other team."

Marlton quietly walked over to Team A, which was now quietly waiting for the others to be introduced.

The ninth contestant was Nikolai, who was still sleeping. Chris kicked him awake.

"What, mother?!" He cried. "Oh, uh, sorry. My name is Nikolai, and I would like some vodka!" To say he wanted vodka seemed like an understatement.

Chris patted the man on the shoulder, as if trying to comfort him. "Sorry, Nikolai, we don't carry alcoholic beverages here. You'll have to make do without."

Nikolai's eye just twitched. He did not respond.

_Confessional: Nikolai_

_"No vodka? I hate this place already. . ."_

_End confessional._

Number ten was Tank Dempsey, who was relaxed and appeared to be enjoying the sun. He stood at attention when he noticed that Chris was next to him.

"Tank Dempsey! Ready to make some pain!" he saluted.

_Confessional: Tank_

_"I'm just happy that I get to be on vacation. Let's just say that home sucks."_

_End confessional._

The eleventh person was the female, Abigail Briarton. She seemed to try being polite and shook Chris's hand. "My real name's Abigail, but I go by Misty."

"It's nice to see someone representing the female demographic, Misty."

"What about me?!" Izzy shouted in the background. Chris didn't even pay attention.

"Don't worry about her," Chris explained. She nodded.

The twelfth contestant was Samuel Stuhlinger, who appeared to be nervous.

"Hello, and you are-"

"I know your games, man. This is all one big conspiracy! You can't fool Samuel J. Stuhlinger!" Chris just face palmed himself.

"Unlucky thirteen!" He smiled at Finn. "Who are you?"

"Finn, the man who knows how to play a game like this."

Chris smiled and walked on. The final contestant was Dr. Edward Richtofen, who was flashing an unnatural grin. It was almost as creepy as Russman's.

"My name is Edward, and it is wunderbar to participate in this game of yours. I can't wait to be started!" He squealed like a little girl. Chris reeled back in a state of slight disturbance.

"OK. Well, you met then, and now you'll meet their teams, right after this commercial break on Total! Drama! Insanity!"

* * *

"Welcome back, if you just joined us, we have introduced this season's 14 contestants, and they sure look promising. We have then set up on two teams, and now they will soon learn their names. After that, the challenge will start

He turned to the first team. "Team A, you are now officially known as the Cracked Craniums!"

A green logo of a brain with a large crack in the middle was shown.

Cracked Craniums:** Albert, Billy, Sal, Russman, Marlton, Izzy, and Takeo**

_Confessional: Marlton_

_"Cracked Craniums? That's preposterous! My brain is great, thank you very much!"_

_End confessional._

"Team B, you are the Pressured Psychos!" Chris smiled, and a red logo of a cross-eyed, stressed face appeared.

Pressured Psychos: **Finn, Nikolai, Misty, Austin, Stuhlinger, Dempsey, and Richtofen.**

Both teams faced each other, all 14 contestants rising to the challenge.

"Alright, out first challenge is a jet ski race around the island. The first one to make it completely around the island will win invincibility for their team!"

Fourteen real interns pulled up in jet skis, parking them neatly at the center of the docks. Everyone chose a jet ski, not caring which one it was.

"Oh, and by the way, there are some traps around the waters. They can destroy you jet ski if you are not careful," he warned playfully. "Now, start your engines!" He waved a checkered flag, and the contestants each drove away. You'd think the contestants would be confused on how to drive a device that they had never seen before, but they actually seemed to know what they were doing. Tank was first, followed by Takeo in a close second.

The first stretch of the race was simple enough, dodge a few jagged rocks, and you keep your position. That was, until Tank tripped a previously unseen mine that sent him and he ski flying into the air. Takeo overtook him into first place, but he and Richtofen behind him were much more nervous now, especially since Samuel also tripped one.

Back at the start, Billy's jet ski was having some difficulty starting up, and he was in dead last because of it. He cursed at the thing, which of course cause one long bleep.

"You motherf*****, piece of s***! I'll kick your ass if you don't move!" He growled at the thing.

"Woah, woah, woah," Chris stepped in, as he was still standing on the dock. "Watch your mouth, Billy."

"And you watch yours before I snap your spine out, my jet ski's defective!"

Chris just shrugged. "Sorry,"

Back at the actual race, Austin and Albert batted their jet skis into each other multiple times, trying to outperform each other. They were in the third and fourth, with Takeo still in the lead. Richtofen was barely in front of them, and Tank was nowhere to be seen. Behind them, Misty fought with Sal, who she was giving the finger to. Sal was about to ram into her when he hit a mine and also went flying.

By, now, Tank landed in thirteenth place, and his jet ski was heavily damaged. With his top speed greatly reduced, all he could do was drive slowly and hope his team would win the challenge.

_Confession: Tank_

_"That. Was. AWESOME! It's just too bad it happened to me."_

_End confessional._

Marlton sped by a laughing Austin to rocket into third. Richtofen and Takeo were still neck-and-neck as the first part of the race ended.

The contestants approached the second part, with Richtofen now barely overtaking Takeo, with Marlton right behind both of them. Behind Marlton was Austin, then Misty, then Nikolai, then Izzy, then Russman, in ninth place was Albert, and in last (that is to say not in a disable jet ski) was Finn, who was taking things steady and cautiously.

_Confession: Finn_

_"I count on all the others blowin' themselves up, then I cross the finish line and win for the Psychos!"_

_End Confessional._

It was all going well, until a large Great White Shark jumped right onto Austin's watercraft. In a surge of panic, he drove the boat onto land and ran away in a panic. The shark just shrugged and jumped back into the sea.

The remaining nine contestants all jumped a ramp, revealing they were in heavy shark territory. Finn, now unsure of his plan, tried to drive his jet ski out of shark territory. Chris appeared, holding his megaphone and standing on a low-flying helicopter.

"Uh-uh, Finn, you must drive through shark territory, or you're disqualified. Finn rolled his eyes and gunned it on his speedboat, seeing it as his only option.

"Give it up, Al!" Russman shouted as he pulled up next to Albert.

"In your dreams, you creepy old man!" Albert shouted back. However, he wasn't paying attention to the road, causing him to crash his jet ski into a rock. Russman cackled in joy, at least until a shark rammed into his boat and caused it to flip over. Once Russman resurfaced, he immediately swam to the nearest shore.

"You fellas ain't eating Russman this early!" He cried fearfully.

The seven remaining contestants soon also lost Izzy, who jumped onto Marlton's jet ski.

"What are you trying to do?!" He cried. "I'm on your team."

"Oh, right, sorr-" The jet ski flipped with the added weight, taking Izzy and Marlton with it.

The last remaining Cranium; Takeo, did not become any less cautious. It was now or never, and he had to win. The four remaining Psychos continued as usual, with no change in their pattern.

Chris's helicopter flew low again as they left the second phase of the race and entered the last portion.

"Here comes the best part!" He announced in a sing-song voice.

"What can be worse than sharks and mines?!" Finn asked.

"Sharks with mines strapped to them!" Chris exclaimed happily as a shark smashed mine-first right into Richtofen's jet ski. You could hear a quick "NEIN!" as he flew into the sky.

"Good luck, Takeo," Chris chuckled. "It's all up to you." Takeo inwardly gulped, as the jet skis of Misty, Finn, and Nikolai approached. Fortunately, another one slammed into Misty's, and she flew out of the race.

Fortunately, the three left made it through the third part of the race without anymore explosions, and they made it into the final stretch. However, one shark was still trailing Finn, readying to blow him up. He collided with Finn when Takeo was just meters away from crossing the finish line. The propulsion sent Finn flying straight ahead, and he ended up smashing right through the finish line, winning it for the Pressured Pyschos.

The eleven eliminated contestants were at the finish line, with the Psychos cheering, since they won. Takeo had a look of defeat on his face, realizing that he failed his team.

"The Psychos win, thanks to Finn! Wow, that rhymes pretty well. Anyway, in a new twist to the game, Finn will receive invincibility should his team lose the next challenge. It's getting late," Chris said as he looked at his watch. "We should probably serve dinner now."

_Confessional: Takeo_

_"My dishonorable performance will eliminate me for sure. My team will not be proud."_

_End confessional_.

The defeated Craniums sat in the cafeteria, eating an early dinner. They had fifteen minutes to eat, and then they were to report for voting. Billy angrily banged on the table, which he had done for the fourteenth time in five minutes.

Even Sal rolled his eyes at Billy's poor sportsmanship.

"Billy, stop being so upset that we lost. It's not the end of the world."

"You didn't have your boat sabotaged!" Billy shouted furiously. "I bet Chris did it just to have some fun!"

"Maybe you didn't know how to operate i-"

"Bulls***!" He screamed again. Nobody in the room was enjoying a peaceful meal with Billy being such a crybaby.

While Billy went on a venomous tirade, Albert simply whispered in Izzy's ear that he was voting for Billy. She nodded, like she was going to vote for him too.

"Your team lost Billy, just get over it," Austin frowned from the Psychos' table. He soon received a spoon to the face. "Ow!"

Chris walked into the tirade. He blew a whistle shortly before all-out war begin.

"Um, Craniums, it's time for your first bonfire ceremony!" He announced. "Each of you will use the outhouse confessional to vocally cast your vote. One of you will be sent into the Teleporter of Shame and Transported to the Dimension of Losers! Good luck to all of you; being voted off first is embarrassing."

* * *

The Craniums sat at the campfire as Chris came with a six-pack of Juggernog.

"Cracked Craniums, I hold in my hand six sodas, but there are seven of you. One of you will be eliminated tonight, and cannot come back, EVER. Without further ado, let's begin passing out the drinks. The first one goes to: Russman."

Russman smiled as a bottle landed in his lap.

"Sal."

"Izzy."

"Albert."

"Marlton."

Chris held up the last drink, and stared at Takeo and Billy.

"The final soda goes to. . ."

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

Takeo sighed, sure he would be gone first. Billy just smirked at him.

. . .

"Takeo," Takeo suddenly brightened as he received the final drink. Billy's smirk dropped into a look of shock. Chef Hatchet grabbed a struggling Billy and threw him offscreen. The camera panned out to reveal the teleporter, which had been salvaged by Chris. A glass door shut before Billy could escape, trapping him.

"Any last words before I send you back?" Chris teased.

"YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF TRAITORS, I COULDA HELPED YOU SO MUCH, BUT-" Billy was cut off by the sound of the teleporter sending him off.

"Of course, the rest of you are now safe and free to go. Be careful next challenge, or you could be next," Chris then turned to face the audience. "Who will win? Who will lose? And will Nikolai adapt without booze? Find out next episode, on Total! Drama! INSANITY!

* * *

Confessional Votes:

_Albert- "If I haven't made it clear yet, I'm definitely voting for Billy. Good riddance!"_

_Marlton- "Billy seems to be a huge drag, both emotionally and behaviorally, so his elimination would be the most logical by far."_

_Izzy- "Billy, his mind goes boom boom way too often."_

_Billy- "I vote for Takeo, because he had victory in his reach, and he screwed up big time!"_

_Takeo- "I know it's no use, but I cast my vote for Billy. His behavior is almost as dishonorable as my defeat."_

_Russman- "Russman votes for Billy, he's a bad example to the young'ins!"_

_Sal- "I hate to do it, but I vote for Billy."_

Votes:

Albert- **Billy**

Marlton- **Billy**

Izzy- **Billy**

Billy- Takeo

Takeo- **Billy**

Russman- **Billy**

Sal- **Billy**

Billy is unanimously eliminated for his poor behavior by the rest of his team.

Remaining Cracked Craniums: Albert, Izzy, Sal, Russman, Takeo, and Marlton.

Remaining Pressured Psychos: Misty, Finn, Austin, Dempsey, Richtofen, Stuhlinger, and Nikolai.


End file.
